Words that have been said

My dad once said I wasn't good enough to make the Lone Peak football team or the Lone Peak basketball team.

So I gave up my dreams.

 My ex once said I would never find someone as good as her.

 So I gave up my confidence.

 My classmate once said I wouldn’t amount.

 So I gave up my hope.

 All these people told me the same things but with different words. They [the words] cut into my skin and invaded my body. The words have sunk deep into my skull and overtaken my brain. The feeling of no dreams, hope, or confidence creates an abyss in my mind and that chasm grows and has become the size of the grand canyon. I got bad anxiety as I tried to tightrope walk across it to get to the other side where my peace of mind resided. I finally chickened out after 27 long seconds and slowly crawled back to the other side. I was David trying to take down a better David. One with giant friends named Goliath.










That's when I decided to try to build a bridge over the pit.

 My parents didn't want to help.
My friends didn't have the right materials.
I didn't know how to build to save my life.

 Then, it all came together one day.

 I decided if I couldn't get to the other side, I would have to find a way to make the dark side I was on be better.

 I joined a basketball team and did football.

 I broke up with my ex.

 I worked hard to show my bully I was good enough.

 And in the end, I have regained part of what I had lost. But it wasn't that I had accomplished my dreams or found confidence in myself or received an epiphany of new hope. Along the way, my dreams changed and I gained confidence in what I believe in and I have hope for the future.

 Sometimes, shiz happens. You've got to find what destroys that shiz.

 But sometimes, that shiz can still conquer. It's a never ending battle between good and evil. Each side has their moments, but the side that wins will usually always be the side that you arm and give provisions to.

Comments

  1. Johann Wolfgang Von GoetheSeptember 2, 2014 at 7:25 AM

    "Sometimes, shiz happens. You've got to find what destroys that shiz."

    Love it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Autumn FireSeptember 3, 2014 at 11:18 AM

    "I was David trying to take down a better David. One with giant friends named Goliath." Awesome parallel.

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownSeptember 3, 2014 at 8:53 PM

    the shiz. The shiz is real, man.
    That girlfriend needs to clean up her shiz

    ReplyDelete

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