This

Here we are again. New semester, new classes, new teachers. Same faces. And with only a semester of school left, this will be it. No more new classes. No posting schedules on Instagram or Facebook with the caption of "Any classes anyone???" This is it. For all the Dallin Ferrels, Jake Ervings, and Ben Clarks. It's time to fight on and reach our peak. Or so we have been told for the last three years of our lives. And for the first two years, I have just been getting by. I do not know what would have happened if I hadn't taken Mr. Nelson's class in 10th grade. That class was where I felt alive in one of the deadest places in all of Utah valley from 7:45 to 2:15 on Mondays to Fridays. If I hadn't taken that class, I probably wouldn't have been in Creative Writing and not have been in this class.

If I were to map out my high school life for you all, you all would see things that may make some of you cry. But then again, maybe not. I was never a football or basketball player. I don't know if I was popular enough or even is popular enough now. I mean, that is what high school is anyways. It's all just one big popularity contest. That's why I have been to a handful of parties and when I say that, I mean maybe 5 max over the years and when I say parties, I mean a friend or two just wants to get together. That's why a lot of people only talk to me to get answers for math. It's because I am a tutor and have the answers and should be in BC Calculus but instead took College Prep because I don't want to challenge myself.

Maybe this rant is completely pointless to some of you. Sometimes I wish we could all wear our problems on our sleeves just to see how much everyone else has to deal with. So this post is for the Bryce's and the Hunter's and the Johnny's. This is for those without the big friend groups or even those without friends. This is for the kid who feels like no one wants to be his friend. This is for the people who stay home rather than go to the State Championship basketball game because why go when you have social anxiety. This is for the kid who has panic attacks just by being asked a few simple questions in a class he had. This is for the kid who tries to be the best he can be for his parents but they only ever see the wrong he does. This is for the kid who lays in bed at nights, crying because he can't ever seem to sleep and at nights the bad voices just keep getting worse and worse. This is for the kid who can't seem to find footing in this world and no matter how hard he tries to push forward and continue on, he keeps slipping farther and farther back. I guess this is all for me because I fit those descriptions. These are my sleeves.

So this…

This is for me. Call it selfish, call it whatever. But you might need to hear this and I know I have to write this.

Besides, we only have a semester, right?

Comments

  1. AndraLeeJanuary 26, 2015 at 4:08 PM

    So much thinking.. Just wow.. I really really liked this a lot.

    Props to you for writing it for you and basically half of the high school to whom it applies :) seriously, nicely done

    ReplyDelete
  2. Laine EarhartJanuary 26, 2015 at 8:58 PM

    I love how you expressed yourself here. Thank you for writing this.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sarah MichelleJanuary 26, 2015 at 11:30 PM

    So personal and so relatable.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Natty BethFebruary 11, 2015 at 2:56 PM

    I really really loved this.
    Thanks for being you.
    Also I love that you mentioned Bryce.

    ReplyDelete
  5. NelsonFebruary 18, 2015 at 10:35 AM

    This is a great post. I'm sorry I didn't see it until now.

    "These are my sleeves."

    ReplyDelete

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